Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
