yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
