You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
