I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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