At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
