Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
