What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
