She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My liver is preforming stress tests.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
