You smell like a Billy Joel song
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize