it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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