Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
