sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
