Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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