she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
