This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize