am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
