you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
