Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
