I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
