They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize