I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
