they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
