The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
