I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
