Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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