You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
