you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
