??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize