Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
