I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
