Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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