Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
