what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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