I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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