i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
