Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
