Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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