Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
