I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
