The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
should my penis look like a turkey
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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