My hair reeks of homosexuality.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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