Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
