if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize