I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
