new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
