I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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