I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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