What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize