Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize