Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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