He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
