Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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