this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
