i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
