People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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