but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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