then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
