I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
