she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You are a genius and a whore.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
