I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
