Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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