I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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