Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
bring money and cleavage
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
