Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
love makes seman taste better
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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