im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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