Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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