I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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