An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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