I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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