Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
