just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
