you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
