Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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