does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Are these your boobs on my camera?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
