It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
