She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
