HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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