Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
