My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
