How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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