Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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