BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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